Morning Metal: Metal Rant #10 – Language
Rockso Rants #10
Language
If you’re like me and you enjoy reading comments, you sometimes get furious at people by the comments they leave that are just so blatantly idiotic. The majority of these comments stem from their own insecurities when it comes to their music, because it’s easier to put someone else’s music down than promote your own.
In their minds, if everyone else sucks — then they’re good. Now, I realize a lot of these people are just casual assholes (or full-time assholes, depending on their dedication) who like to take the piss out of readers because… Let’s face it, none of the bands are ever going to read the comments. So they don’t have to worry about Ivan Moody sending them a private message with death threats.
A few bands that are constantly getting trashed are bands like Slipknot, Five Finger Death Punch, Avenged Sevenfold, Metallica, etc. I’ll go into each band as to why they are getting the crap, but when it comes to those bands… They’re ridiculously well-known, incredibly talented and are at the top of the tower, so to speak.
When you’re at the top, you’re always a target. Every single article that is about you will be reviewed under a microscope by the aforementioned casual assholes so they can start brewing an evil statement that they think will cripple the band’s self-esteem. Here’s an example:
METALLICA PLANS TO RELEASE FOLLOW-UP TO DEATH MAGNETIC NEXT YEAR
Charles P. Ninnymuggins – Oh my gawwwd, who caaaaaaaaaaaaares?! This band suuuucks! St. Anger ruined their reputation. I burned all of my Metallica CD’s after that was released.
I’ll be one of those guys… If you’re a fan who will abandon a band when they release a crappy album, you’re not a fan. You’re a listener of the band’s music. Very different from a fan. Here is an example of what should be said:
Margaret von Doodlesberg – Oh cool! Death Magnetic was a pretty sweet album, I’m excited to see what else they can come up with.
Margaret sounds like a cool person, I’d be more likely to high five her than Charles. Charles is a dick.
Metallica – People have had their panties wound up so tight ever since St. Anger that they will never forget it. Ever since that album and the following documentary, Some Kind of Monster, these basement dwelling goblins continuously trash one of metal’s greatest bands because they released a crappy album. Like they’re the first band to release some songs that were so notoriously bad.
You might say, “But Rockso, they’re one of metal’s most critically acclaimed bands, how can you defend them after that?” Easy! They’re Metallica! I guarantee you there is one album released by your favourite band that you didn’t like. You might have liked some songs, but the overall reaction was, “Damn, that sucked.”
Slipknot – Slipknot is one of metal’s most renowned bands, and because of that they are subject to the most criticism. Paul Gray passed away in 2010, leading to speculation that Slipknot would break up. Then they played some shows throughout the next couple of years before firing Joey Jordison a few months ago.
“Slipknot is garbage now, they got rid of their most talented players”. Okay, where were you when they released All Hope Is Gone? People would switch from hating on the music that their apparent favourite players wrote, but when they get kicked out – they’re immediately the greatest musician to have ever lived. I enjoy the hypocrisy, you maggots.
Now that .5: The Gray Chapter is out, it’s all about how it’s not as heavy as Iowa or their self-titled. I happen to think .5: The Gray Chapter is one of their best releases. It’s certainly better than All Hope Is Gone (keep in mind, I’m not hating on that band because I thought it was decent).
Five Finger Death Punch – This band pulls so many damn people into their shows that it actually blows my mind when people hate on them. Guitarist Zoltan Bathory is heavily influenced by Dimebag Darrell, and people actually go out of their way to accuse Zoltan of ripping him off. You can’t even write a groove metal riff without being compared to Pantera these days, because then you’re just a copying hack. Lamb of God seems to be doing pretty well using these so-called “Pantera riffs” and not getting any crap, the only difference between FFDP and Lamb of God is the vocalist if you think about it. Well, that and the drastic difference in production quality.
Avenged Sevenfold – This goes back to Metallica, because they’ve been loved until they released Hail To The King in 2013. People hated this album because they accused it of being a covers album, even Machine Head’s Robb Flynn called it a covers album – and they’re friends!
I will admit, “This Means War” is incredibly similar to Metallica’s “Sad But True”, but if you’re going to paint the whole album the same colour as one track – you need a new hobby. I admire Avenged Sevenfold in the same way I admire Nickelback… So many negative comments, but they keep ignoring them.
Okay, I chose those four bands because they are the most talked about in mainstream metal. Haha, you remember when metal was accused of being the devil’s music? All of a sudden it can be considered mainstream. This is where the term “selling out” came from. Sadly, this term is thrown around so casually that it has literally lost all meaning. If your band sells more than 2,500 copies in today’s market, you’re a sell-out. If your song is played once on radio, you’re a sell-out. If you high five a promoter, you’re a sell-out.
Did you know that people comment on Cannibal Corpse threads calling them sell-outs? Cannibal Corpse… a sell-out. Okay, what is their name again? Exactly.
If there is one thing I am glad of in this negative-fueled, hate-driven metal community… It’s that local scenes are always like a family. Regardless of genre, metal scenes are nearly always one big happy family holding hands. I like local music more than mainstream music, because the people don’t suck.
James Rockso – Host of CKCU 93.1 FM’s Morning Metal